


missing soulmates.

by stxrryy



Series: oneshots. // danganronpa [2]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Romance, Character Death, Forbidden Love, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Marked Soulmates, One-Sided Attraction, Tragedy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrryy/pseuds/stxrryy
Summary: soulmate au where soulmates have matching marks.shuichi is a detective, searching for everyone else's happy ending.but what about his own?
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo (mentioned), Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: oneshots. // danganronpa [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773979
Comments: 7
Kudos: 93





	missing soulmates.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gravestone_Monarch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravestone_Monarch/gifts).



shuichi didn't ever want this. he was just to do his job as a detective, and that's always what he intended to do. it didn't matter what his background was or how he felt or even what colour his eyes were. he was there to work; and to help people.

even if it was stressful or horrible knowing that each person that came through the door had a soulmate. and he didn't.

that's right. shuichi didn't have a soulmate.

well, he did once, but he never got the chance to meet her in person or hold her hand underneath an umbrella, so in his mind, he never even had one.

a young shuichi saihara would say the complete opposite, hoping for someone who would balance out his quietness. he was half of a puzzle in his young eyes; a puzzle that would only be complete once he locked eyes with that other person, who could've been just like him, or something more.

shuichi knew who his soulmate was, how she acted, what she did, but unfortunately he never locked eyes with her or felt that flattery sensation build up as he read in books or saw in movies.

the name of his dead soulmate was framed on the wall of his room;

a certain kaede akamatsu that he never got to meet and talk to over a cup of coffee in a busy café.

he knew what she looked like; beautiful wavy blonde hair that framed her face, and the most gentle, perfect eyes he could see, in as little as a photo can give. and he knew what she sounded like; an angelic voice that sung to piano the only time he had listened to it.

once upon a time, he had a patch behind his ear and so did she, and because of it the two never got their ears pierced. he never got to see her or point at the mark or smile and hear her voice in person - she was murdered, and he found out months after, in a hairdressers, of all places. remembering it clear as day is probably the memory that hurts shuichi the most, even over knowing that he'll never have a soulmate again.

it was a completely normal day too - probably foreshadowing how difficult is was going to be for that poor man. a little cloudy, but it was a wednesday so he decided to go out and finally get his hair cut. besides, it wasn't busy, so he was looking forward to not seeing every single line that seems to show up at that hairdresser's every saturday.

it was completely normal, but it just fell to shambles when the hairdresser asked in passing conversation, "so, got a soulmark?" and right after he told her the location, she froze. told him in sympathetic mutters that his mark wasn't on his ear. and before he knew it, he burst into tears like a little kid for someone he never knew the face of.

but shuichi could keep it together now, 8 months after that horrible day, even if he wondered where she was and what she'd look like if she came in through the doors. she never did, but it wasn't like there was a part of shuichi that was surprised every day when she didn't. she was dead, after all.

but, for some stupid reason that even shuichi couldn't understand himself,

he'd always seem to wish that his soulmate would show up. every single time.

although, a certain someone else had decided to show up at that door every day, firstly to his dismay, but..

kokichi ouma, line under his right eye, almost looking like a scar from a swipe or something along those lines. he was one among many searching for their one and only, and one that had gotten none other than shuichi saihara as his agent.

he was quite a.. character. one that shuichi couldn’t seem to wrap his head around at first, with the man’s extroverted and unique attitude to everything. maybe it was because shuichi had never sat in the seat that kokichi would, almost every week.

they were the opposite, and shuichi liked that. he felt almost attached, like a good friend. after all, weeks after showing up in the man’s office led the two to become closer, over the talk of soulmates.

most times they talked in shuichi's office, which sounds better than it actually is, because in hot days, that office didn't have air conditioners. kokichi mentioned how it would be nice to talk somewhere else for a change, and like everything else he said, shuichi took it into account and the week after, they were talking about soulmates in the coffee shop across the road that shuichi was supposed to take his soulmate on a date to.

shuichi took every little detail into account, like he was meant to. but every time kokichi talked about the ideal soulmate, there was a feeling in him that fluttered and told him to change. change the way that kokichi wants, and maybe then, he'll finally—

shuichi didn't even realise that he had fallen for kokichi ouma. not until he looked himself in the mirror of a clothing store one day, and asked himself, "why am i wearing this shirt? i dont ever remember liking these—"

and then it hit him. like the hairdresser's words, like everything kokichi had said, like everything he'd done to change the way he acted or the person he was. he did like kokichi. he loved kokichi.

the realisation of his actions didn’t hit him suddenly, as he stared at the designs of the checkered shirt, still wanting to buy it. he did buy it in the end, and returned from that store, a bag in hand with a checkered t-shirt that was his size, way too big to give kokichi as a gift. that’s right; shuichi planned to wear this, to look good for kokichi. so the ¥1000 or however amount that shirt was couldn’t go to waste.

but when shuichi stood again, facing the mirror in his own room opposite that framed photo with kaede’s name, he was miserable. it only hit him in the comfort of his own house that was being selfish, because kokichi ouma already had a soulmate, and the evidence would stare at him every morning when they sat in coffee shops or offices or parks. yeah, they went to a park once, and it was hard to see the laptop screen in the sweltering sun, but he really wanted to go out somewhere nice with kokichi.

and that was even worse, because these feelings were turning into actions, actions that planned to win kokichi over and tear him away from the person who was supposed to be there for him instead of some nobody who hadn’t got a soulmate or a future to lose, but one to make.

he didn't mean to be selfish at all, he just.. wanted someone. growing up with dreams of seeing, loving, and marrying a person that was to always stay by his side had been ripped away, and all shuichi wanted was for the hole that those dreams filled up to be filled again, even if it wrong. and how it was so wrong to take someone so sweet, so funny like kokichi away from someone who genuinely wanted and deserved him.

everytime shuichi stared at the name engraved on his wall or the checkered shirt that sat in his wardrobe or heard some song about soulmates and love, he'd touch underneath his right eye and wish for the mark to show up one morning. his stomach would tie together and his heart would flutter, and he couldn't tell if it was shame or nervousness.

it must've been both. he always felt both when the name came to the tip of his tongue, because he felt ashamed. ashamed that he had fallen for someone who already had a future.

but maybe there was love mixed in this shame. in this hate. somewhere, he truly loved kokichi ouma, and the only reason he wanted the boy all to himself is because he cared for him and wanted to know more about him, beyond the soulmate crap. soulmates should be able to choose whether they want to be together, whether they want to be attached to the idea of this one person for the rest of their lives.

well, at least that’s what shuichi thought.

or maybe that’s what these feelings wanted him to think.

was this what soulmates felt when they saw each other from across the street, one standing by a coffee shop, and the other holding shopping bags filled?

was this what he was meant to feel?

no, he already knew that. he knew this wasn't what he was supposed to be doing, because kokichi had a destiny and if shuichi really thought of him in a better way than kaede akamatsu, he would leave his friend go and live out that destiny.

he never really thought he'd ever need to make that choice though. it seemed too unreasonable, since there were millions upon millions of people who had dedicated their lives searching for their soulmate, and kokichi's soulmate might have not even been one. kokichi's soulmate could be living the dream somewhere else, without a need for a soulmate. there was only a small chance that shuichi would come face to face with kokichi ouma's soulmate.

and once this happened, shuichi should've bought a lottery ticket because this was a one in a couple millions' chance for this to happen the day after he thought of it.

and then someone else walked in on a tuesday, regular workday. shuichi hadn't looked up from his monitor at a name he was somewhat familiar with, a young man named kiyotaka ishimaru who had thanked him immensely for the week before, where he got his happy ending with another, a man by the name of mondo oowada.

shuichi loved helping other people, that's why he picked this job. seeing the look on their face as you tell them you’ve found their other half is so fulfilling, and sometimes you gain a friend in the process. shuichi has been to weddings, been given cards, and all because he types in people’s names and finds out what they want in their soulmate. it fills him with nothing but happiness when it happens right before his eyes.

but the familiar feeling of guilt grew in his stomach as the man who had opened his door took a seat, as he was told to by the dark-haired detective. a hint of pale green hair came in shuichi's vision, and he turned to see the boy who had pulled out his hand patiently.

he shook it and smiled, biting his tongue and curling his toes into his feet. he saw the mark; it wasn't on shuichi's face, and never would be because kokichi's soulmate was sitting in front of him. and it wasn't his mirror. it was the complete opposite.

and as he waved that rantaro amami once he walked out of the office, he watched with longing eyes as the two noticed each other at the coffee shop shuichi would often sit with kokichi at, talking about soulmates or flowers or even just movies they liked.

he watched as rantaro, holding shopping bags at the time, ran over to kokichi ouma, who was much shorter and had his arms wide open, and they embraced.

shuichi was just an onlooker. he could only ever be, since kaede was the one he should've had and never got. and shuichi didn't want that for kokichi.

yet it hurt his heart to feel the growing pain in his stomach, the feeling he wanted when he looked at kaede akamatsu or kokichi ouma from across the street.

his eyes overflowed with those worthless feelings he had held close, and that stupid checkered shirt he was wearing under his uniform stabbed at him, because he hadn’t ever worn it in front of kokichi and he knew it wouldn’t matter now if he did or not.

the pain embraced him, like he wanted to with a kaede akamatsu once upon a time, and then a kokichi ouma once upon another time. and his heart felt so fucking hollow. not even the satisfaction of knowing kokichi, or kiyotaka, or tenko, or sayaka, or komaru, or endless people with the same faces and same happily ever afters could fill it. a growing void, that fell down his face mixing into tears and following that joy of seeing that stupid face walk in the office.

he felt numb, like the tears falling down his face had stopped and his skin hadn’t gone pale and his body had stopped shaking, convulsing, from the overwhelming sorrow from before.

...

he had work to do, though. kokichi was just a customer. a customer among the faces of happily ever afters. he got rantaro amami, a name that could finally have a tick beside the blank box in his file, that could get lost among the names of other people who had the same fate as him. he was 10,582; kokichi was number 10,583.

so, he wiped his eyes, said a bleak goodbye to the two who were sitting down and talking already, shut the blinds and returned to the seat that felt just a little bit colder. his heart jumped as a blonde haired woman opened the door.

kaede akamatsu?

no, not this time.

and once she, miu iruma, left, a purple haired man walked in after, with a big grin.

kokichi ouma?

...

.. no, not anymore.

he always seems to wish that his soulmate shows up.

every single time.

**Author's Note:**

> i made a saiouma thing for saiouma person  
> i love them sm check them out
> 
> but yeah!! i've never written saiouma and well im angst overlord??? overload?? b o t h   
> and i wanted some soulmate drama in here
> 
> tell me if i did a good job  
> i can't write about emo detective that well bc like  
> this is the first time   
> but tell me how to be better ^^
> 
> k love ya bye


End file.
